Are you frustrated with shared parenting, you are not alone. There are many shortfalls and problems!
Florida law requires that parents “share” parenting with one another. The concept of shared parental responsibility is that it is supposed to provide a framework for effective co-parenting.
It is the public policy of the State of Florida to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child rearing. Shared parental responsibility is a court ordered relationship in which both parents retain full parental rights and responsibilities and in which both parents confer with each other, so that major decisions affecting the welfare of the children will be determined jointly. The concept of shared parental responsibility is intended to protect the children’s right to an ongoing relationship with both parents. Each parent is responsible for making day-to-day decisions regarding the children’s care, maintenance and welfare while the children are in his or her care. The parents consult with one another on questions related to religious upbringing, discipline, financial matters, moral training, social and recreational activities, and non-emergency medical and dental care. Each parent takes an active role in providing a sound moral, social, economic and educational environment for the children and in amicably resolving any disputes that arise.
The parents should at all times conduct themselves and their activities in a way that will promote the welfare and best interests of the children. Each parent must notify the other parent promptly of any serious illness or accident affecting the children. Each parent has access to records and information pertaining to the minor children, including but not limited to medical, dental, and school records. Both parents are entitled to authorize emergency medical treatment for the children. Both parents have an affirmative duty under Florida law to promote a good relationship between the children and the other parent. Both parents must attempt to insure that the children have unhampered contact and free access with both parents. Neither parent may do anything to hamper the natural development of the children’s love and respect for the other parent. A parent should not disparage the other parent or discuss the divorce in the children’s presence. Each parent must make all reasonable efforts to encourage and facilitate communication between the other parent and the children — in person, by telephone, and through the mail. Neither parent should do anything that would estrange the children from the other parent or that would injure the children’s opinion of either parent.
Shared parenting is a positive alternative for handling the restructure of a divorced family. However, when there is continuous parental conflict, shared parenting is likely harmful to the children. In such a case, the court may order sole parental responsibility, where only one parent makes decisions regarding the children. The court may also award one parent ultimate responsibility for decisions regarding a specific aspect of the child’s life such as education or religious upbringing.
In our practice we have found that parents who did not get along well before the divorce are NOT getting along well after it. Parents who were uninvolved with their children will remain uninvolved. Parents who create anxiety will continue to do so. Parents who eventually establish new relationships will permit their new significant others to have a say in the parenting relationship, when they should not.
Shared parenting with a problem former spouse usually only gets worse with time and the children are hurt by the continuation of the conflict and the inability of the parents to act in unison. Carefully documenting a recalcitrant former spouses actions – which run counter to shared parenting and then “dragging” them into court will likely get you nowhere and will escalate the dispute. The courts are unable to effectively handle the case loads they have, let alone attempt to effectively “micro-manage” shared parenting gone awry. There is a dire need for guidance for these people. They need a place to go for help, where help and guidance is inexpensive and rapidly received. Several years ago, the courts appointed a number of “Parental Coordinators.” Most were former case workers and social workers. The system was a great idea, however, the courts could not fund the program and they could not maintain enough qualified and trained people who were willing to be abused by troublesome parents who were conflicted. Further, the courts were unwilling to give up ANY of their power to the Coordinators – so these people had no “bite” to compel the parents to comply with suggestions.
There is an answer. There are a great many graduate schools training Masters in Social Work and Masters in Mental Health Counseling. These graduates are fully capable of being trained to act as independent Parental Coordinators. Licensing as such by Florida would impose standards and control. Giving these Licensed Parental Coordinators a small amount of authority and control would provide a ready, inexpensive and available source of qualified guidance and assistance for thousands of troubled divorced parents, with a minimal impact on the court system. The entry of a standard Order appointing a Parental Coordinator as agreed and hired mutually by the parties would be entered in every divorce case with children involved. The court would continue to retain authority over the decisions of the Coordinator, much like the use of Magistrates in our present court system.
If you have any question regarding this or any other legal matter our firm may be able to help you. Please contact Jupiter Legal Advocates at (561) 748-8000 or email us at info@jla.legal for further information and assistance. We try our very best to respond immediately.
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